This morning I walked my daughter—my firstborn—into her kindergarten class for the first time. Then I hugged her, took a deep breath, and walked out. My three-year-old and I wove through the clusters of families taking first-day photos on the walkways. He made airplane noises and pointed out school buses on the drive home. In many ways it was a repeat of Lucy’s first day of preschool last year, but this year just feels different. And it is. Our family is now in the era of Elementary School and I can scarcely believe it.
I am normally unruffled by life changes, milestones, firsts, and the like. Especially if I know they’re coming. But this one is different. It’s big. As my mom gently pointed out last year: “Once kids start school, they don’t stop until they’re adults.” It’s like the beginning of the end for parents.
But it’s more than that, too. When I dropped Lucy off this morning, it was at a public elementary school. The overcrowded classroom filled with kids (and nervous parents) hosted a variety of ethnic backgrounds and languages. The teacher—a veteran in her 34th year with the district—fanned herself frantically while trying to direct everyone. I’ll admit, it made me squirm.
My husband and I talked about education options for our kids before we were even married. It has been a long-running, ever-evolving conversation between us. Last year, our decision was made easier by the State of Florida’s VPK voucher program because it included a number of private preschools near our home. We just had to pick one, and we didn’t have to pay out of pocket for it.
But this year, we had three basic options—the same three most parents of school-age children face:
- Public school
- Private school
- Home school
Before I continue, let me just say that I am speaking only for myself and our family when I say what I’m going to say. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. This is not a soapbox; it’s a story.
Parents agonize over these decisions because there is nothing simple about them. There are countless factors to consider, and it’s often a decision that you have to make more than once as circumstances (and children) change. And, as we all know, we don’t get a do-over on these years. This is weighty.
But one thing Ben and I have come back to time and time again in our school discussions is motive. Are our decisions motivated by laziness? Selfishness? Pride? Fear?
Those exposed heart-motives, combined with a practical assessment of our financial situation and Lucy’s learning style, are what ultimately led us to that crowded classroom this morning. If we had broken our budget and enrolled Lucy in the award-winning Christian elementary school down the road, it would have been prideful and financially unwise. If I had homeschooled Lucy this year, it would have been borne of fear and a desire for control. I’m oversimplifying the circumstances of our decision, but in a nutshell, sending our daughter to public kindergarten this year is an exercise in trust. For us, trusting God with our daughter and her education has led us here. Next year could be different. For our son, it could be different. When the Coast Guard moves us, it will change. But I am so thankful for an unchanging God and the truth of his Word:
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)
Stay At Home Mayhem 